Gambling Places In Maryland

4/14/2022by admin

The state of Maryland, well known for... always being there, has voted to allow casino gambling. Casino companies spent $80 million to get the bill passed, in order to earn the privilege of building an $800 million 'destination resort' in Prince George's County, where people will go and gamble.

Why the fuck would anyone do that?

The Washington Post hilariously notes that casino developer MGM plans to install 'Rodeo Drive-worthy retail' and 'Vegas-style entertainment' right there in PGC, an area whose main claim to fame has heretofore been shoutouts on Big Tigger's radio show. You know where people who want casino gambling, fancy stores, and Vegas-style entertainment can go, already? Vegas. They can go to Vegas. (Or, if they have real money, to Macau.) Vegas has dozens of huge casinos and countless upscale shops and restaurants and shows and performers and a boatload of hookers. Maryland has none of those things except the hookers.

Gambling Places In Maryland State Parks

Eastern

The cashiers’ windows at Maryland casinos are able to redeem winning Lottery tickets valued up to and including $25,000. Please note that you must be at least 21 years of age to enter a Maryland casino to claim a Lottery prize. Here are the casino locations: Horseshoe Casino, 1525 Russell Street in Baltimore (Baltimore City).

Gambling Places In Maryland
  • Gambling Age in Maryland. The legal gambling age for casinos in Maryland is currently 21. For those looking to place pari-mutuel wagers on horse races, the minimum age is 18. Likewise, the legal age for participating in the lottery or bingo games is 18.
  • #1 of 1 Casinos & Gambling in Flintstone “ Offers great treatments Rebecca gave me a wonderful pedi The buffet was nice with outstanding view of the lake Room were comfortable Casino was busy I highly recommend ” “ We took a spur-of-the-moment trip to western Maryland to partake in some gambling, sightseeing, and time together as a couple.
  • Expansion of table games. Governor Martin O'Malley promised to look to expand Maryland's array of gambling in the 2012 legislative session. On February 7, 2012, Senator Douglas JJ Peters introduced legislation in the Maryland State Senate that would legalize an additional casino in Prince George's County.
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I mean, it's easy to see why Maryland politicians would want a casino: because politicians do not mind bloodsucking their own poor citizens, if it improves their budget situation. Casino revenue for government is like getting a tax increase, without having to pass a tax increase.

Casinos Are for Losers

Michael Sokolove's NYT Magazine cover story this week is about the decline of the casino…

Gambling Casinos In Maryland

But look, MGM: there will never be glamorous, 'Vegas style' casino gambling in Maryland. Maryland is simply not built for glamor. Maryland is a shithole. Vegas is a shithole too, but it's out in the desert, so you can do whatever you want. Maryland is just a boring place north of DC. That means the only people who will go to your stupid Maryland casino are boring people from DC, and people from the surrounding area who can't really afford to be gambling but they really need money so they go gambling and then lose and that's pretty immoral really, if you think about it, and that's the business you're in. Just a big old non-glamorous warehouse of localized bloodsucking out there in a boring place. Just like Foxwoods, which can't even sustain itself any more. Too many casinos in too many places going after not enough money. And not enough glamor. A Maryland casino will not resemble the movie Ocean's Eleven. It will more closely resemble a typical Wal-Mart store festooned with neon lights and slot machines. Full of grandmothers on fixed incomes smoking Salems and the occasional K Street ex frat boy away on a shitty non-glamorous 'boy's night,' smoking what he thinks is (but is not, in fact) a Cuban cigar.

Weather's better in Vegas too.

Maryland

[Photo: ambernectar13/ Flickr]

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